AUTHOR: Monica Lee
TITLE: A Little Mind Trip!
DATE: 4:33 PM
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BODY:
I was watching a snippet of Sheryl Crow’s interview on Good Morning America; sorry I didn’t see the whole thing. She was talking about what was going through her mind when she was diagnosed with cancer. She talked about it being a wake up call to “show up for herself.” What exactly does that mean? I have heard it used as a catch phrase lately. Is it the key to some secret chest that you will open and have answers for your inner most workings?
I have had some health challenges in the past few months, biopsies, scans and waiting for more tests. I believe my health issues are turning out to a pain in the bum more than life threatening like Sheryl’s, thank God! But I can’t help but asking why am I going through all this? What am I supposed to be learning through all the distraction? And it has been distracting, scary at times and plain annoying other times. I want to move out of this “mental place”. I think I always ask myself “What did I do to get in this place to begin with?” That is probably where I go down the wrong road, right at the start. I mean, I take really good care of myself. Maybe I should move right to the next spot on the map, “How do I get out of this spot and then what do I take away from it?” I think I even do that in the wrong order…this summer I have been caught in the let’s figure out what these health problems are being caused by and fix it-because I have so much in my life to do! Fun stuff, great stuff…really, I feel like I have “shown up” for my life…so why all this? Yesterday I received a Title Nine sports catalog in the mail. I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut out the women doing all these great outdoor activities. I looked at them and thought, “They don’t even look like they are thinking about their health!” I taped the pictures all around my office. This is me! This is me, not some chick that poops out on her couch during the middle of each day.
Am I showing up? What does that mean? I do know that I have new and huge empathy for anyone who is actually diagnosed with cancer, what it must do to your mental peace. My heart breaks for them. Ya know, years ago, I mean YEARS AGO, I prayed that God would give me more compassion. I somehow did not feel like I was a gentle enough person. I thought of this prayer a lot as I went through my painful divorce and was a single mom. That was a big wake call; I don’t judge ANYONE who goes through that sort of pain now! I hate to say be careful what you pray for because I am sure it wouldn’t have come to mind if it had not be a necessary prayer. IS that what I am supposed to be learning, to have more compassion for people that are struggling with their health? AM I showing up yet? That would be a good lesson…if I learn the lesson really quickly; does that mean I feel better faster? That sounds really noble doesn’t it? Have I shown up for myself yet because all these question are wearing’ me out! If anyone has Sheryl’s number let me know…
I was watching a snippet of Sheryl Crow’s interview on Good Morning America; sorry I didn’t see the whole thing. She was talking about what was going through her mind when she was diagnosed with cancer. She talked about it being a wake up call to “show up for herself.” What exactly does that mean? I have heard it used as a catch phrase lately. Is it the key to some secret chest that you will open and have answers for your inner most workings?
I have had some health challenges in the past few months, biopsies, scans and waiting for more tests. I believe my health issues are turning out to a pain in the bum more than life threatening like Sheryl’s, thank God! But I can’t help but asking why am I going through all this? What am I supposed to be learning through all the distraction? And it has been distracting, scary at times and plain annoying other times. I want to move out of this “mental place”. I think I always ask myself “What did I do to get in this place to begin with?” That is probably where I go down the wrong road, right at the start. I mean, I take really good care of myself. Maybe I should move right to the next spot on the map, “How do I get out of this spot and then what do I take away from it?” I think I even do that in the wrong order…this summer I have been caught in the let’s figure out what these health problems are being caused by and fix it-because I have so much in my life to do! Fun stuff, great stuff…really, I feel like I have “shown up” for my life…so why all this? Yesterday I received a Title Nine sports catalog in the mail. I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut out the women doing all these great outdoor activities. I looked at them and thought, “They don’t even look like they are thinking about their health!” I taped the pictures all around my office. This is me! This is me, not some chick that poops out on her couch during the middle of each day.
Am I showing up? What does that mean? I do know that I have new and huge empathy for anyone who is actually diagnosed with cancer, what it must do to your mental peace. My heart breaks for them. Ya know, years ago, I mean YEARS AGO, I prayed that God would give me more compassion. I somehow did not feel like I was a gentle enough person. I thought of this prayer a lot as I went through my painful divorce and was a single mom. That was a big wake call; I don’t judge ANYONE who goes through that sort of pain now! I hate to say be careful what you pray for because I am sure it wouldn’t have come to mind if it had not be a necessary prayer. IS that what I am supposed to be learning, to have more compassion for people that are struggling with their health? AM I showing up yet? That would be a good lesson…if I learn the lesson really quickly; does that mean I feel better faster? That sounds really noble doesn’t it? Have I shown up for myself yet because all these question are wearing’ me out! If anyone has Sheryl’s number let me know…